Explaining to the kids what has happened to Caff has been a bit difficult. You want to explain as truthfully as possible within the limits of a child’s ability to understand. But in so doing you don’t want to inadvertently create fantasies by emphatically reassuring the child that the doggie is in heaven. While I think there may be a special place for pets, I am not as certain about that as I am about my faith with respect to humans. So I am treading carefully with Sam. He’s a bright guy with a long memory. Yesterday at the playground he asked how exactly Caff “got lifted up” to doggie heaven. I said well, it isn’t exactly a physical thing. I paused for a moment, and so did he. Then I said it’s more like what he saw with his dry ice on the volcano cake – sublimation. The dry ice went from solid to gas immediately, and drifted away in the breeze. So I said that when a loved one passes away, they are transported to a better place something like that. The word sublimation means a phase transformation, with respect to matter (chemistry) or even emotions (psychology). He immediately understood, and I left it at that.

Going through all the routines without Caffrey here is so hard. I don’t even want to go over by the back door that she always used. Dave has been opening it in the morning and closing it at night (the hardest time for me because that’s when I would spend extra time settling her in for the night). Today I came in from our run the back way, picked up the last of her poops, and finally used “her” door without tears. Would it be horribly weird to look for another dog exactly like her, if I could find one, and name her Caffrey? I think that’s what I want to do, but will let time tell. Confronting old age with my doggie girl has brought me face to face with my own aging, which has not been too kind this last week (back pain!). I am looking for the message of good and hope here, and I think it’s a solid reminder not to let a day pass with regret. Spend the extra moments, and try not to rush too much. Last night as I reflected I was again thankful that I have had every day with my kids before kindergarten started. Time passes so quickly and I’m thankful I won’t be able to look back and wonder how things would have been had I been given more time with them. You just can’t get time back. But at least I have pictures of Caff to remind me of those good times! 🙂

Dave said it best in a note to his family, and I’m still grasping… UPDATE: a tribute photo album is now linked to the pictures below. Thanks to mom who spent hours combing through photos last night. She managed to send me most of them, and some I’d long forgotten about.

Hey all,

Just a note to let you all know that Caffrey left us today at the ripe old age of 13 1/2 (9/7/97-2/12/11).  She was a good dog. 🙂

On our wedding day, 12.31.01.

She was there for so many changes in our lives, through Merck training in Philadelphia (I had her staying in my room in the Doubletree, with the manager’s permission, for six weeks!). She went trail running on her fifth birthday, followed by an ice cream cone. I still have that picture on my dresser. I know she had a great day that day. She flew out to meet us in CA, traveled with us to WA when I was 37 weeks pregnant with Sam, flew to Hawaii with us and wreaked havoc on walks with the boys to the marsh. I wish I could have given her many more great days, but aging is not an easy process for anyone. She did it as gracefully as a doggie could. She will be remembered always. Dave thank you for your kind words and strength. Love you!

Doggie girl having the time of her life on Pensacola beach in 2003 enroute to CA. See frisbee?

Introducing two dear friends and trail buddies: Tamara (L) with Camden and Ang with Rachel. We have been hiking together now, along with other buddies, for several months. I am very grateful for these friends and wanted to properly introduce them 🙂 I'm wearing a necklace I made from a fishing line and heart-shaped lava rock. Kinda actually like it! And it's gotten a few compliments believe it or not. Just hoping I got rid of all the algae and that nothing will start growing up my neck!

This is such a classic Ben picture I had to include it. We hiked up to Makapu'u Lighthouse on Tues looking for whales...spotted quite a few spouts! Tamara and her family got to see some breaching later from Lanai Lookout.

The hiker hui on top of Makapu'u. You can see Ben is very busy eating trail mix! That's his friend Camden, who turned four last month. Camden is a nice guy to Ben, even though Camden often likes his quiet time and space, and Ben is quite a conversation-starter 🙂

Marilou – congratulations on your upcoming party! We are thrilled for you and the answers to so many prayers. Enjoy your time together celebrating with family and friends! Here are a few pictures from last week…I was a bit behind indeed. (Busy with some new work and also dealing with about 10 days of back pain triggered by a wrong move hoisting Big Ben into the truck last week! Every time I was nearly on the mend I did something (like hike with a pack) to set me back again, but I’m back to 95% now and almost in the clear.) There are more pictures in the album as well. Aloha!

The volcano cake was a big hit - I am thankful for all the teamwork which made Sam's day special! And a special MAHALO to Mrs. Muraoka for allowing us to share this cake with the kids.

We had a great time taking a volcano cake to school – a great culmination to three days of planning and effort. Here is the entire video mom shot of science class 🙂 Click on the picture for more photos from the day. And don’t miss checking out the Jan folder for all the assembly pictures.

These tide pools emerge in the winter when the sand is relocated by the north swells. It's a tad chillier for swimming, but when you're jumping in and out, working hard, you hardly notice it in the warm afternoon sun.

Dave took some really great shots of these tide pools. We really love this place and were happy to see the pools reemerge in the low tide. Sam and I are looking forward to our sunrise hike tomorrow morning with three buddies of Sam’s. We’ll be up early at 0530, and on top of a little pu’u (hill) by 6:30am ready for 7:11 sunrise. Mercury gets up at 5:42am, so maybe we’ll see that planet on our walk up. I have blinking headlamps for boys, glow sticks, coffee for moms and doughnut holes for the top 🙂 I also have whistles for the way down to wake the rest of the base up – ha ha!

As I was getting my coffee carafe unpacked, I noticed it is a 34 oz carafe. So I asked Sam casually, “How many 8 oz cups of coffee will we have if this is a 34 oz carafe?” He paced a bit with his 25 ft rope in hand (he’s been working on knots and stuff with the rope, featured in a couple of the shots linked from the above picture).  “Four and a quarter, Mom.” He had the answer in 16 seconds (I was still working on the second part of the answer as he said it!). Wow. He is one cool kid. But his latest report card says he’s DP (developing proficiency) using objects or fingers to add and subtract single digit whole numbers. A burden I carry around with me every day is unraveling this fundamental disconnect between who he is at home, and what the teacher says he is at school. Am I doing the right thing for Sam’s education? Should I be doing more? Is he getting enough stimulation and challenge outside the classroom to make up for what he’s not getting in class? Is observing the other kids in class and learning to work within a system, however unchallenging, a viable form of learning at this stage? It is only Kindergarten, after all, I tell myself most days. So while I grapple with this question, I continue to invest my time and energy in nurturing my kids as best I can outside the classroom and volunteer my time and energy to help refine programs, policies, strategies to help other kids reach their potential at school. Maybe one day I’ll be a science tutor to contribute more to the local education system.

A lifeguard found this guy on his back, on his tower ramp. Way up a steep embankment. We have no idea how he ended up there, but the lifeguard was able to carry him back down to the beach and he seemed just fine once he got in the water. How incredible! He was about 2 1/2 ft long from nose to tail. Gorgeous, healthy guy as far as I can tell.

Ben and I were supposed to go to the Y again today – getting back into a Friday yoga routine for me. But last week we were foiled in our attempt by a honu (turtle) we spotted just offshore as we jogged down the beach, followed by watching two surfers. Today – Friday – we had plans to go to the Y again, but as we finished our jog we met a really neat lady walking a dog and got to chatting about Caffrey (the lady happens to be with Lab Rescue in PA – a group I’d contacted a year ago to find out about a rescue chapter here on O’ahu!). As we parted ways we noticed the lifeguard carrying a turtle down to the water! Wow! How exciting! But it was totally odd – he’d found the large turtle on its back and way up on his tower ramp, at least 10 ft up a very steep embankment the turtle could never have climbed. Was it put there by someone? Or did it truly get there somehow? In any case, the turtle seemed just fine once it hit water. But the lifeguard was totally perplexed. Almost in shock, saying over and over again it was the weirdest thing he’d ever seen. Me too! But I was glad to grab a picture of this rascally honu before he swam away. Thankful to miss the Y again today for chance meetings like this. No wonder I am addicted to jogging the beach with Ben in the early morning. It’s especially nice that mom and Richard are here now, so I can hook up with mom for coffee (and hard boiled eggs for Ben – his favorite! see Mom’s blog for pictures of him in pursuit of the perfect egg – http://clanskene.blogspot.com/2011/01/buying-hard-boiled-egg-at-2-12-years.html).