Explaining to the kids what has happened to Caff has been a bit difficult. You want to explain as truthfully as possible within the limits of a child’s ability to understand. But in so doing you don’t want to inadvertently create fantasies by emphatically reassuring the child that the doggie is in heaven. While I think there may be a special place for pets, I am not as certain about that as I am about my faith with respect to humans. So I am treading carefully with Sam. He’s a bright guy with a long memory. Yesterday at the playground he asked how exactly Caff “got lifted up” to doggie heaven. I said well, it isn’t exactly a physical thing. I paused for a moment, and so did he. Then I said it’s more like what he saw with his dry ice on the volcano cake – sublimation. The dry ice went from solid to gas immediately, and drifted away in the breeze. So I said that when a loved one passes away, they are transported to a better place something like that. The word sublimation means a phase transformation, with respect to matter (chemistry) or even emotions (psychology). He immediately understood, and I left it at that.

Going through all the routines without Caffrey here is so hard. I don’t even want to go over by the back door that she always used. Dave has been opening it in the morning and closing it at night (the hardest time for me because that’s when I would spend extra time settling her in for the night). Today I came in from our run the back way, picked up the last of her poops, and finally used “her” door without tears. Would it be horribly weird to look for another dog exactly like her, if I could find one, and name her Caffrey? I think that’s what I want to do, but will let time tell. Confronting old age with my doggie girl has brought me face to face with my own aging, which has not been too kind this last week (back pain!). I am looking for the message of good and hope here, and I think it’s a solid reminder not to let a day pass with regret. Spend the extra moments, and try not to rush too much. Last night as I reflected I was again thankful that I have had every day with my kids before kindergarten started. Time passes so quickly and I’m thankful I won’t be able to look back and wonder how things would have been had I been given more time with them. You just can’t get time back. But at least I have pictures of Caff to remind me of those good times! 🙂