I am just now coming up for air enough to chronicle the past week. And I’m not sure I can do it justice because I have a sore throat and I really should be in bed. But if I wait too much longer the details will fade and I’ll forget the really funny parts of the gauntlet we’ve just run. I think I’ll do this one in bullets…

• Friday night – Ben threw up on his way to bath. That’s when we knew it was going to be an interesting night.
• Saturday – after several ups last night, Ben seemed in good spirits. We went about the day, even hit the air show and carnival at night. Ben ate a few bites of pizza and had shave ice. Seemed like we’d survived.
• Sunday – went out for crepes – nice morning. Then took a little drive around, went to Byodo In temple to walk the grounds, ring the huge gong, enjoy the peace and quiet. On our way home, Ben drank a bunch of water then seconds later shot a HUGE projectile vomit right toward me. Sam and I made the mistake of laughing. Dave did not think it was funny. There was nothing we could do but boogie home quickly. We were only 10 min away. I feared I’d been exposed – GI bugs don’t usually pass this way but with that load of microbes shooting out just as I laughed…all bets were off. I figured I’d get it. Then I got some in my eye from hosing out his stuff. It sprayed. YUCK.
• Sunday afternoon – as I worked on the beginning layout of a 500+ page report for the NYS DOH and CDC I began to feel really logey. I kept working furiously. By 6pm I was puking. But I kept cleaning up the house, doing folding, etc. just in case I really went down for the count. Oh yes…and would I ever.
• Sunday night was spent on the toilet, every 60-90 min. Ben was fine, but Sam was puking, too. TMI I know but I had a bowl with me while on the toilet. It was bad. I would clean Sam up between races to the bathroom. I threw towels down on the hallway carpet to catch whatever wouldn’t make it. By 1am my heart was racing from dehydration. I remembered that from a hospital trip when I was pregnant with Sam. So I began to hydrate despite the risk of triggering more bouts. Glad I did…I was really really weak by then. Dave was feeling gross but still not sick.
• Monday was a lost day. I couldn’t walk, had a fever, felt horrendous. Sam felt off but not quite as bad.
• Tuesday – Thursday are also lost days. They were spent furiously wrapping up the huge report (editing, layout, redoing graphics, printing to PDF, bookmarking, epublishing, emails back and forth to the team, reconciling changes, etc.) while taking care of two sick kids. Neither were eating, hard to get them to drink. We were all living off BRAT foods (which I have come to learn are not necessarily mandatory, but what I didn’t know is that we’d been hit with post-bug lactose intolerance). Ben would puke if he drank too much (post GI GERD) and Sam would puke if he had any dairy. This was a new thing for me. I had not seen that before. Our boys had not been in preschool so they were not exposed to as many GI bugs as other kids. The ones we got were 24 hr. This particular virus affects you for 7 days.
• Wednesday Sam seemed fine enough to go on a field trip to a play about Dinosaurs with his class. I’d volunteered to chaperone, so I helped the teacher get the kids ready, onto the bus, and keep them from getting too wild on the way there. You know what was funny about this? After waiting a bit to get going (while 100 Kindergarteners were loaded on the bus) the diesel smell made a few kids feel funny. As soon as we started winding up the Pali, a couple girls were like “EEEWWWW! I feel SIIIIICK!” I”m like “NOOOOOOOOO! Look at your shoes, pretty shoes! Aren’t those nice shoes!” No one packs barf bags for K field trips? I would!
• Tuesday was also remarkable for the fact that my computer’s motherboard decided to fail, three months after extended warranty coverage ended. And my insurance rider had an exclusion in it for any manufacturer defect. It would really only cover the computer if I drop-kicked it or one of the boys puked on it. Not just for plain hardware failure. How odd, huh? So I had to go to backup systems – thankfully I have multiple redundancies so I can stay afloat and have various levels of hassle required to get back in business.
• Friday I bought a new laptop. Insurance will give me $500 toward it ($250 deductible) and now I have a fast new SONY quadcore, with a hot pink keyboard cover. Not taking chances, man! Friday and Saturday were spent reinstalling software, calling the nice guys in India to get Adobe to give me another activation, and getting a sore throat!!! Yay, such fun. Friday night was funny, though, in a sick way. So Ben managed to get a cup with a straw (vs tiny holes) so he guzzled too much water at dinner. I’d made a nice soup/rice casserole to warm everyone now that they had a small appetite. Ben refused to eat and shortly we found out why – he burped and sent about a gallon of watery puke all over the table, dripping down the crack in the leaves to the floor. Sam and I thought it was funny (again) but Dave didn’t. Then the boys were building a tower of Ginger Ale cans while I was busy cleaning up puke again (by this time I am absolutely manic about cleaning – hands, house, you name it, I am a spraying/washing/scrubbing nut). The tower fell over puncturing one can. It started spraying vigorously. I grabbed it but didn’t think to cover the hole. The can sprayed all over the ceiling, stove, glassware, table, floor -all over -on its way to the sink. So the sugar in the soda will be a nice bait for the sugar ants which have been completely overwhelming our bug defenses here. Dave was beside himself by this point, poor guy! He felt yucky all week but never got sick – we’re not sure who was luckier – the night of H-E – double-L I spent or a nasty week?
• So what does one feed lactose intolerant boys? Much of our life revolves around cheese. This is a new one for us. So we went to McDs. Everyone was quite pleased. We sat safely outside in case anyone had a wet burp. Sam burped right across from Dave and you should have seen Daddy’s face. He was like “Buddy! Point to the bushes!” right next to us. All in all it was a nice night, seated outside by the hibiscus hedge, at someone else’s table, with someone else paid to mop in case we left a deposit. I was quite pleased. I think we might eat there every night. Leslie – I have sure been thinking of you through all this. The massive urpings! OMG!

So now I am off to bed. I hope you have all had a wonderful week. Thankfully the gauntlet revealed the joys of motherhood – I felt so bad for Sam that I prayed asking God to give me his remaining pukes that bad night on Sunday, and thankfully God complied, allowing me to have the worst night so Sam would be spared. You don’t often come face-to-face with wanting to take on your child’s suffering, but I definitely wanted to do that for him. And I have generally kept my sense of humor throughout it all, laughing at the insanity every chance I got. Yes, I was pretty tense during report writing, but that’s life. Two sick kids home with no babysitter able (or willing?) to come to the “hot zone” and kids not interested in “kids” shows because they are boring compared to our normal life out and about. It was challenging. Ben was tatooing me with stickers while I edited. They horsed around on the bed behind me or played in a “band” with their ukes and guitar. It was nuts, but we got it done and initial reactions to this report are “spectacular!” – wow. Cool.

Now I’m digging out of a backlog of work, thankful for a simple sore throat and good times with the family. But really, I honestly would prefer to be healthy right now after this. We had just gotten over a cold before we got slammed with the bug. So if you feel like shooting up a few prayers… I took pictures of the kids here and there during the “siege” so I will post when I can tomorrow. Thanks for bearing with me as I chronicle this experience. Aloha to all and to all a good night!